A short while back, while working on an elder client, a woman with Alzheimer’s, I had an extraordinary experience. The lights were low, my client was in a deep state of relaxation, and I was in a meditative state, eyes half closed, feeling the rhythmic energy between us, a sense of melting into each other at the point of contact. I suddenly found myself filled with the overwhelming sense that in addition to where I was, I was somewhere – or rather, somewhen – else. Slowly I realized I was sensing myself as Ry, looking at her Mama, me there on the table, holding her hand (I was massaging the woman’s hand at the time), watching her/me die. At the same time I was me-myself, sitting with my own mother in her last days. My breaths began to come deep and quick, as if tides were sweeping through me, and I was filled with profound wonder and deep, deep serenity.
The feeling lasted probably 5 or 6 minutes, then the thinking started and the sense faded from me. Perhaps it was purely imagination. Or maybe, in that space of healing and spirit and gut, I glimpsed a little of something bigger than what was in that massage room.
I don’t think our teeny little brains can really comprehend the way Things Really Are. But I suspect, just suspect, that time is not linear, as most of us think it to be. I sense it may be a loop or layers, some type of constant – past, present and future, all playing at the same time. I’ve had a few experiences that have led me to this suspicion. I wonder if ghosts, the shadows and spirits we see, the voices we sometimes hear, are occurrences within that loop, pieces of “other” time momentarily glimpsed. Maybe every moment is infinity. I find this idea warmly comforting.