The best part of this post is the link. Trust me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go adjust my package.

I dreamed that I got shot in the heart, and woke up with chest congestion.

I Facebooked that.  What I didn’t post on the ole’ FB was the dream I had BEFORE that … in which Rocky’s mean Kindergarten teacher, lets call her Ms. Hornet, was teaching a masturbation class for adults.  I was taking the class.  I got in trouble for not “doing it” right.

And, I’m pretty sure Ms. Hornet sent the guys after me who ended up killing me (and giving me the flu).

In other news, I’ve hired a marketing consultant for my massage private practice.  By “hired”, I mean “trading with”, because we all know homie got no money.  Her name is Tanya, and she practices something she calls “spiritual marketing”.  Seriously.  Now, I’m not going to be levitating or visualizing whirled peas or anything like that.  She uses the same concrete, tried-and-true methods everybody else  uses.  She just adds a hefty dose of Intention in with the fliers and brochures.  I’m not sure exactly what that means yet, but her clients are apparently sailing through the recession, completely unaffected, even doing better now than they were doing last year.  And these are professions that should not be seeing profit growth right now.  So Spiritual Marketing sounds all right by me.

God, I hope I don’t have pig flu.

A bientot, mes petits cochons.  I leave you with this.

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3 responses to “The best part of this post is the link. Trust me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go adjust my package.

  1. What the hell is with the “automatically generated”, “possibly related” posts? Fittest Celeb Couples? WTF, WordPress?

    Also, thank you to Isaac for the Bon Jovi. Really.

  2. i don’t parley voo fransay but isn’t cochon a slang term for womon bits?

    i mean it’s fine with me if you call me that, it’s kinda accurate.

    spiritual marketing — the next george clooney movie?

  3. Eef you want to theenk off vahgahnah lak zee peeg, zen yis, cochon. Cochon, she meanz peeg en francais.

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