A special birthday, and an ambivalent graduation

Today’s my stepson Aza’s 22nd birthday. Rocky, Ru and I just called and sang happy birthday to him for the first time. Rukan and I each had a nice little chat with him, and the tone on all ends was just about giddy – finally, a birthday with son and birth mother together at last. Well, his giddy tone may have been due to the fact that he was drinking wine at somebody’s wedding. Whatever. I know he was glad, too.

Tonight I’m supposed to be speaking at my massage school graduation ceremony. In fact, I’m supposed to be speaking in an hour and a half. Have I planned any words at all? No, not so much. Have I sat here in front of “Kipper” with Rocky, exhausted after a long day, practically drooling on my shirt? Yes, in fact I have. I wonder, when I get up there and open my mouth, what will come out, words of inspiration, or drool of exhaustion?

I am remembering right now that I almost didn’t go to my college graduation. I didn’t think my family really cared to go, and I was depressed and didn’t think it was important.

Of course I went, and my family came and stood on their chairs cheering for me, and I was glad afterward. Rukan and Rocky will be there, and my classmates.

There’ll be an empty place for the family I’ve lost. They’d have us over for dinner first, and maybe even wear stick-on play earrings for the occasion.

I guess I’d better get to writing that inspiring speech.


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