Monthly Archives: August 2007

quick check-in

Friends,

I’m waiting for the creative spirit to coincide with the spirit of truth, and the spirit of courage, and the spirit of Spare Time. Then I’ll write again.

I’ll post pictures soon, too. Because Rocky never stops being cute.

love,
Blue

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SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH

Hives.

Apparently, I’m allergic to stress.

So, you can add big red inflamed welts to sebacious cysts and gargantuan post-op moonboot, along with the lowered hygienic standards of one who is losing the battle with depression, to your visual image of me.

I’m pretty sure the reason for the depression and at least some of the stress is my isolation. I mean, not just my sense of isolation; actual, physical isolation. This is a picture of a day, for me. Get up in the morning. Morning ritual with Rocky and Rukan and the pets. Go to work. Work until I can’t stand it any more. Keep working. I mean, I am working A LOT. Loan, rent, food, and a  trip to Disney in the works for Mom’s 60th. When I work, I am compleeeeetely alooooooone. Aaaaaallll daaaaaay. Then I come home, do the evening ritual with Rocky, Ru and the pets, get into poorly-timed late-night relationship talks with Ru, then drop into sleep like an anchor to the bottom of the sea. But the anchor keeps getting dragged along the rocky bottom by a big, big ship. Awake, asleep, awake, asleep, bad dream, awake.

One night a week or so, I get together with a friend and talk.

Once every few weeks or so, I get together with my classmates for tauquitos and Mexican martinis.

I’m about to start internship, which means I’ll spend 4-5 hours a week at the clinic, so I’ll get to be around people. But the people I’ll be seeing there aren’t going to be talking much. They’ll be naked, under a sheet, getting a massage. Better than scrubbing toilets, but still. It won’t be an opportunity to get out of my head.

I’m looking for a few brave souls, it doesn’t matter if I know you well or not, who would be willing to have a little email conversation with me from time to time. Stuff I can’t blog, because I have this weird need to make my blog interesting and creative and funny and compositionally sound. I need to make myself spill on a regular basis. It might just be what I ate for lunch that day, and the song that’s been stuck in my head for a week. Or a dream. Or deep ponderings. I just need somebody who’s interested in what’s in my head, who also doesn’t need it to sound like Dave Barry at the therapist. Dude, don’t knock Dave. Dave is the voice in my head. I love Dave.

So if you want to, let me know. You don’t have to respond much, if you don’t want to – just let me know you read it. Or, you can write me a four-page essay on your experience with what I’m talking about, or your neighbor’s experience with it, or you can send me a get-well-soon e-card or tell me to suck it up, I don’t care. And, the great part is, I want to know what’s in your head, too! Lets talk about your relationship for a little while! Or your lunch! You might find that I can be pretty insightful, when it’s other people’s problems.

God, my hives itch.

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Checking out – I mean, in

I realized yesterday that I’m falling back into the solo dream world in my head. Very, very easy to do, when you’ve been doing it for thirty or so years. So this is my reality check-in.

That’s it, just checking in. I’ll post something interesting soon. Like pictures from my visit with Body Mascot! BM, we miss you already.

love
B.O.

The show must go on

and I passed my school written exam, in anatomy, physiology, hydrotherapy, swedish massage, ethics, history and business. My score: 93. I haven’t gotten straight A’s since 5th grade.

I am now cleared for internship, 40 massages at the clinic between now and November; next stop, the state exam.

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