I’m very proud and pleased to announce . . . drumroll . . . that my very good friend, Body Mascot . . . louder drumroll . . . won . . . deafening drumroll, ok, can it – a FULBRIGHT AWARD. I KNOW! I’m friends with somebody who won the Fulbright! That’s better than being friends with Jewel before she was famous!
BM – you beat her! You beat Jewel! Jewel will NEVER win a Fulbright!