Monthly Archives: March 2007

bit of a stretch . . .

Rocky: Mama, will you play with me?
Me: Of course, Baby.
Rocky: OK! You be Jesus.

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"Just For Today" : the daily meditations of Blue Ox, or, Another Run-On Sentence to Annoy You

Today I bought myself a package of H-E-B Sure Comfort Pantiliners (Compare to Kotex Lightdays Pantiliners!), and because I never buy such menstrual paraphenalia (seriously, that’s what old rags are for, right?), I failed to notice the fancy unreadable font that said “scented/con aroma” on the box, and now every time I have to pull my pants down to pee or whatever this horrid cloud of chemically perfume rises to assault my senses, and due to fifteen years of Chlorox and Tilex exposure I have chemical sensitivities. Plus, the odor of Fresh Spring Flowers between my thighs? Why why why?? Despite the stench, the stinging eyes and burning nasal passages, it’s all I have, since my collection of rags was recently used to remove lead from my freshly-sanded 1970’s home; so, my AA lesson for the day is, if I were still going to meetings: Just For Today, I’ll accept that my Zone smells like a perfume-and-baking-soda explosion and I’ll Let Go and Let God, except that I’ll also wad up a bunch of TP and hold my nose and stuff in in my Hanes so at least my highly offended labia won’t have to feel the damn thing, and I won’t sand any more lead paint either.

I’m glad I got that off my chest.

No gnus is good gnus with Gary Gnu

The good news is, our lead levels are normal and we’re not going to die. The bad news is, we are, some day.

The other good news is that we’re back in our house. The other bad news is that our house is still a hazardous construction pit.

The really, really bad news is that the computer’s in the bedroom now and it’s keeping Melissa awake and now that I can finally blog I have to go.

Anyone recognize the title?

The Handsome Frenchman

So I went back to school last night. After ten years of living gone by between me and my last graduation, I wondered how hard it would be to get back into the groove. It was a 3 1/2 hour lecture, and it was interesting, and I got through it pretty easily. I took lots and lots of notes. And I sat next to the Handsome Frenchman (oh my god oh my god, sweet, shy, dark and good looking, huge smile and DIMPLES, and oh la la, quel accent!), and I was paying such tres bon attention and writing avec mon stylo but then I was thinking about the Handsome Frenchman, le beau Monsieur, how I’d ask him if he’d like me to translate some homework for him sometime, how he’d say, mais oui, and the conversation went on, sometimes in English, sometimes en francais, and then I realized I was in a massage school lecture and the instructor was talking about mindfulness. Being where you are. Paying attention, Blue. Quelle ninny.

And I wonder why Smith rejected me.

The New Brother

It was being talked about so much that of course Rocky asked.  Rukan had been waiting to come up with the best explanation for our keenly intelligent 2 year old, but figured she might as well just come out with it. When Rocky saw the photos, she said “he looks like you” to Rukan. When she found out that he’s her big brother, she started jumping up and down with joy. Now whenever we show the pictures to anyone, she goes over and points him out, and says “that’s my brother Aza,” in her sweet, happy little voice.

Things That Say "Fuck" in the Night

For lunch today, I’m eating a salami and cheddar sandwich with mustard on white bread, pilfered from Evander’s moms’ fridge while they’re not here. Aren’t you glad I don’t have a key to YOUR house?

And now, it’s time for . . .

SCENES FROM THE FISHTANK
starring Pocket and Parsley Goldfish

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, as I do almost every night, and lay there awake in the little efficiency we’re staying in while the house is getting done. What’s that noise? I thought. It was whispering. And it was coming from . . . the fishtank. This is what I heard.
………………………………………
Parsley, I can’t believe how nice you’ve been to me while we’ve had to share this tiny little tank.

Yeah, you’ve been ok, too. I thought it would be a disaster, moving into a ten gallon. But it’s really been all right.

I thought for sure I’d go nuts without a TV or computer, crammed into a tiny apartment.

Me too. But I’ve actually enjoyed our Scrabble games, haven’t you? I mean, who knew we could actually sit down together and laugh and have fun?

Who knew we could even sit down?

Even the pond snail is happy. Just look at her, gliding around eating scum.

Cute little bugger. Wipe your chin, baby!

And now, with school starting for me, and a motherload of work, and rent going up . . . not to mention your long-lost son suddenly reappearing in our lives!

*Sniff*

I mean, I really thought the stress of it all, plus not having any space to myself for a month, plus my parents all showing up at the same time, plus finding out our house is full of lead, plus no sex, would really make us hate each other.

“Jiffy” is not a word.

What?

“Jiffy”. Not a word.

Sure it is.

No. It’s a proper noun. It’s a brand of peanut butter.

Um, actually, it is a word.

No it’s not.

Yes, actually, it IS. And I’m playing it.

Fine. I challenge.

We don’t have the dictionary. It’s still upstairs.

What?? We can’t play this without a dictionary! Why didn’t you bring it with the game?

It’s stuffed into a drawer. I wasn’t going to move all that crap!

Oh, GREAT! That is SO you. You can’t take ONE minute to move a few things, so we can do anything properly. It’s always so half-assed around here!

Goddamn it Pocket, don’t get started on all that again!

“JIFFY” is NOT a word.

YES IT IS. GOD, are you on another PLANET??

“JIFFY” IS NOT A FUCKING WORD!
……………………………………
At that point, I put a pillow over my head and went back to sleep.

And that ends this edition of . . .

SCENES FROM THE FISHTANK

Transformations

A few days ago, Rukan got to talk to her son Aza, for the first time since he was born. I got to witness everything. I’ve never seen that look on her face. Of course I’ve always thought she’s gorgeous, but during that conversation, she was beautiful beyond description. She’s transformed. And now we’re all making plans to meet at his mother’s in April. Suddenly my family is growing.

There’s so, so much more, but orientation starts tonight for school and I want to get a few sweet moments in with my little girl before I have to leave.

love,
Blue