This Just In: I’m Weird

I’ve been tagged. I’m blog-o-ingnorant, so I’m not really sure how the game works, but Trista invited me to play (LOVE HER! I don’t yet know how to link in the posts, so check out the link to the right, An Accident of Hope – she cracks me up!). So, I guess I’m supposed to write six weird things about myself. I think I’ve written about seventy weird things about myself since I started blogging. Not that I like talking about myself or anything. You know, I like to be the quiet, mysterious type. But here are a few, some taken from previous posts.

1). I have a fear of toilet paper rolls. I’m afraid there’s a tarantula lurking inside that will bite me when I put my fingers in.

2.) I once saw a small troll under the edge of my mother’s waterbed. I wasn’t on drugs. And it was U-G-L-Y.

3.) Chalupas make me uneasy. Chalupas are fried tortillas heaped with delicious bean-and-cheese goodness. I won’t order them, because it stresses me out that they are not enclosed and all the stuff can fall off.

4.) I talk to my goldfish like this: “How’s my baby Pocky-Poo! Icky-bicky baby Parsley! Here, fishie! Here, fishie! How’s Mommy’s icky-bicky fishies? Nibble Mommy’s fingers?” But only when nobody’s around.

5.) I once got chased by a bull moose. I was staying at a farm in Vermont. I was sitting at a picnic table drawing a moose that had wandered up and had been hanging out on the lawn all day. This crazy chick was taking close-up pictures of him. I’d look up to get the details for my drawing, and she’d be a little closer, camera in front of her face. Then I’d look up again and she’d be closer still, and the moose’s head was starting to get lower and lower. Then I felt the ground rumbling, and looked up just in time to see a flash of something go by me, and it was the woman with the camera, except the camera was flying in an arc past my head and the moose was barreling toward me, rack down. I don’t remember running, really – I think I flew. The next thing I knew I was safe on the porch and the moose had turned around, thank freaking god. I told a local about the incident, and he nodded and said, “Yup. You gotta be careful ’round the moose this time of year. Rutting season.”

6.) I once got burned in the face with a blowtorch. I majored in metalsmithing in art school, and there was this ditzy girl named “Day-nuh!” who always sat with her mouth hanging open and her eyes unfocused. I was waiting behind her to use the torches. When it was time to check to see if her piece was ready, instead of pointing the torch up she slung the damn thing back over her shoulder like a pocketbook. I jumped back and got just the tip of it, enough to turn the lenses of my glasses black. I stood there stunned, and everybody else in the room stood there stunned. Then I trudged silently over to the sink and mirror and took off my glasses and my face was all red except for the round white shapes where my glasses had been. Day-nuh came sauntering up with her goblet or whatever it was to dunk it in the sink, and stopped short when she saw me, staring at myself. She looked at me with her mouth hanging open and said, “Blue, what happened to your FACE?” I said, “you … you burned me. You burned me, Dana.” She stood there for a moment, then chirped, “Oh! I’m sorry!” and sauntered away.

So that’s it. Six weird things about me. Now I’m supposed to “tag” six more people, but I don’t know enough bloggers for that. So, if you want to tag yourself, go for it. I love weird things about people.

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3 responses to “This Just In: I’m Weird

  1. Okay, a weird thing I’ve never told anyone. When I was four and we were recently back in Lafayette, Louisiana from having lived in Calcutta since I was a baby, I saw a creature known in Cajun dialect as a (phonetical spelling here) toy-yah-yah. It was standing in the shadows in the corner of my (evil) older brother’s bedroom. It was so tall the top of its head almost touched the ceiling, but it was much thinner than a person. It had dark purple skin with yellow patches here and there, huge eyes, and two wicked ivory tusks that curled out from its bottom jaw in an arc almost to its upper lip. I saw it as I stepped into the room, and it didn’t move, just swivelled its eyes around at me, hoping I’d come within reach. I went into screaming hysterics, which brought my mother running, and I retreated to the hall. When she carried me back into the room, it was gone. She didn’t believe me, of course. But I saw it, I really did. If anybody is familiar with Cajun culture and can tell me about this creature (especially how to spell its name), please illuminate me.

  2. What are you talking about? Charm and grace abound in this post? This post is so poised it could found a charm school.

    And here, I’ll tell you how to make in-post links…

    When you’re writing your post, and you look at that little toolbar that lets you change font size and lets you do italics and post pictures and stuff. There’s a button there that looks like a link on a chain. Highlight the text you want to turn into a link, click that button up there and a little screen will pop up asking you for the url of the link, plug the url in the specified box and click ok and TA DA! You have linked.

    Thanks for playing. I hate it when I tag someone and they don’t play along. It makes me cry from loneliness…

    Oh, and I’ve got a similar fear about tarantulas… that they’re going to jump out of some innocuous space and bite me.

  3. Wow. Little kids see crazy shit. When I was tiny, we lived in a little house on the island I’ve always known as “Mr. Buckley’s” (probably the name of the landlord). It’s where I learned my first word, “draft”. They put together a hallway of sorts leading to the outhouse in winter, a dark little corridor with dark shadows and cobwebs. An eyeball lived in there. It would hang out up by the ceiling, huge and bloodshot, and I couldn’t go through there without somebody going with me. Of course I was the only one who saw it.

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