I have a fear of toilet paper rolls. There might be a tarantula lurking inside the cardboard cylinder.
I think Regis Philbin is cute. I was sad when he stopped hosting “Millionaire”.
I like rats. I would like to have one as a pet. They’re very smart and affectionate, when they’re not giving you rabies.
My worst fear of dying is of being trapped in a tiny space all alone and unable to move. I will not be watching that 9-11 movie about that dude that got trapped.
My favorite swear is son-of-a-bitch!!
My family came from England and Wales, made their fortune as privateers (pirates under royal employ), kept a plantation, and eventually split off to settle down – some in Barbados, some in Canada and some in New England.
My family was homeless for a while. We lived in a tent village.
My father was, at different times, a firefighter, a truck driver, an electrician on the Navy’s Aegis Cruisers (big boats with guns), and a soldier at the end of the Korean War. He used to be friends with Yoko Ono. He’s a gentle old hippie. Now he takes disadvantaged kids up into the New Mexico mountains on horseback for a living.
I have a Korean half-brother.
My grandparents were blacklisted.
I won’t eat lobster because they’re boiled to death, and anybody who says lobsters don’t experience some kind of pain just doesn’t want to stop eating lobster.
I like McDonald’s french fries.
My mother is my hero and one of my best friends.
I helped my grandfather through his passage out of this life, held him while he fought for his last breath, and then had to undergo an exorcism with a Chinese acupuncturist so he’d leave.
My brother and I got chased by a UFO. I am not making this up.
I also once got chased by a bull moose. I’m not making that up, either.
I once stood up to the CEO of Dow Chemical Company, in person, for polluting the Great Lakes.
I once built a lean-to next to a stream in the Pelham Hills of Massachusetts and stayed in it overnight to overcome my extreme fear of the dark. I woke up before dawn to the sound of the water singing in a human voice.
When I was little we used an outhouse and bathed in a metal tub with water heated from a woodstove.
I have never wished that I weren’t queer.
Last night I dreamed that my goldfish was joined by nine other goldfish and the tank was getting crowded. Then they all turned into small, brightly-colored underwater-people, and I fed them fish food.
I sometimes wish I were Johnny Depp.
I’m very happy.